A Milestone Reached

Late last night, I finished my first draft of the rewrite of chapter six, …Personal Lives Are Upset….  It is not ready for posting on my Gods Among Men website, but it is just about ready for submission to the Magic City Writers. 

Side Note:

I have been remiss and not posted about the last meeting of the Magic City Writers’ Group.  I apologize, but the desire to work on chapter six has been soaking up my writing urges.

What I Have Been Up to Lately

I had to do major rewrites on the last three chapters, in which I introduce many important characters, bring them together, and reveal major plot threads.  Much of the essential content is the same as before I rewrote them.  Some side items were removed, and important elements were introduced.

Many pages of material have been moved off to long term storage in what I call my story’s  bible.  A separate document where I put meta-knowledge about Gods Among Men (history, descriptions, language notes, outlines for plot threads, and so forth).  I also put deleted scenes there, chunks of  text I don’t currently need, but which could be mined for ideas or phrases I like.

The End Results

While it took a fair amount of work, the rewrites served their purpose.  The overall flow is tighter, more focused, with better characters and escalating tensions.   I can see the improvements, and know that these chapters are now much better. 

Moreover, they are sturdy foundations for much that is to follow.  The overall story has improved and become clearer in my mind.

The Middle of the Road

There are thirteen chapters in each of my books.  Finishing chapter six means, ostensibly, that I am just shy of halfway through this major edit of the whole first book.  

In some ways, however, I’ve already done more than half the required work.

The Shape of Things to Come

Chapter seven, …And Critical Moment Relived…, is a self-contained flashback whose details are not affected by the new elements I introduced during the rewrites.  Right now it is long enough to qualify as a novella.   My goal is to turn it into a modest-size short story. 

This will largely be done by deleting long pages of total crap and tweaking what is not.  Less than a rewrite, more like a normal edit.   I have high hopes this will go quickly.

Most of the later chapters follow this pattern.   They need a brutal edit, but not complete rewrites.  There are fewer structural problems,  more sentences that need eliminating or improvements. 

I can focus more on fixing what is already there rather than creating new material from scratch.  And I am getting faster at the editing process.

My Goals For The Coming Months

If I can maintain my current pace, and the quality level of my recent efforts, I think the first book, At The Lady’s Behest Comes…, will be ready to submit to publishers by early next year.    I may be somewhat delayed in November by NaNoWriMo, at which time I plan on trying to write much of the first draft for book two.

The View From Where I Am Right Now

There is still much to do, but much has also been accomplished.   A milestone has been reached, by which I can see how far I’ve traveled, and how much further I have to go.    Not enough has been done to warrant celebration, but a moment has been reached that is worth noting.

Killing Your Darlings

Supposedly it was William Faulkner who first coined the phrase “kill your darlings”.  It is a vivid image, one designed to convey the emotional intensity that occurs while editing your work. 

Most first drafts suck.  Buried in the trash are the occasional gems.   Sentences and paragraphs that the writer loves.  Turns of phrases, character moments, little jokes and lushly written imagery.

But when writing turns to editing, nothing is safe or sacred.  Sentences that sparkle are the ones you want to save.  But sometime they just don’t fit.  They slow a scene down, or make no sense without including garbage you need to eliminate.

Inevitably, a good editor must delete sentences they love, paragraph they adore, and even characters they desperately want to keep.

The first time this happens is traumatic.   For me, my third chapter is the one which felt like a knife fight.  To this day if I need to make major modifications to something, I say to myself, “well, it can’t be as bad as when I edited chapter three”.  So far that remains a true statement.

I sometimes save parts of scenes, ones I like most, but which simply must go.  I copy them out and put them somewhere where I can find them.  The idea is that, someday, I may want to mine those scenes for ideas or phrases. 

The truth is I almost never look at those saved excerpts again.  More and more, I rewrite scenes from scratch, deleting whole pages of existing material.  What remains of the original text is worked into new material as appropriate.   

The result is better scenes, better chapters, and a stronger work. 

Yes there will be future edits, and more darlings will no doubt die.   But the result is a story I believe is objectively better.   It is worth a few (hundred? thousand?) deleted sentences to achieve that goal.

When Last We Met

On Wednesday, August 11, 2010, the Magic City Writers met and reviewed my fifth chapter entitled Through Persuasion and Force,….    

The meeting was small  again.  Kathryn, Lindy, and myself.  Nicole was unable to attend, as was our hoped for new member Emily.   

And now onto the food.

Let’s Torture Alex by Mentioning What We Ate

Since we were meeting at 6 pm, we ate dinner before the meeting.  We went for a low key meal.   Kathryn picked up some breaded chicken tenders at Publix, garlic mashed potatoes, and garlic cheese toast.  For snacks we had some crackers with a nutty flavor. 

An Now What We Did

I had rewritten Through Persuasion and Force,… from scratch and was feeling pretty proud of it.   Normally this would be a sign of impending doom, an invitation for an ego bruising recitation of what was wrong with the chapter. 

This time, it turns out I had some reason to feel proud.  The chapter was the longest I had ever submitted, but took far less time to review than my previous submissions.   The entire meeting lasted less than an hour and half, whereas normally it takes us four hours (or more) to go over a work in detail.

It was agreed that this was the best chapter I had written to date.  Yes, there were flaws to be addressed, but not nearly as many or as severe as my earlier attempts. 

Without going into details, I was advised by Kathryn and Lindy to fix the problems they pointed out, then not edit this chapter again.  It can be considered complete.

This is a personal milestone.  Never before have I received so positive a review.

The Remains of The Day

Afterwards I retired to write this post, while the others went their separate ways.   Lindy had places to go, and Kathryn needed to finish working on her submission for next time.

Coming Attractions

We tentatively set the date for the next meeting to be Wednesday August 25th at 6:00 pm.  Again the plan is to eat dinner first, followed by reviewing Kathryn’s submission.

Until my next post, take care and have fun.

Exercising Your Writing Habits

I had cause to think about exercising.  Thoughts that led to some insights about writing. 

When I began exercising a few months back it was hard.  I often left the gym sore and winded.  But, with some proper guidance from my physical therapist and a personal trainer, I got stronger and developed some endurance.  

These days when I leave the gym, I still feel the workout, but I feel pretty good too.  Doing the exercises makes me feel physically better.   What was once a chore, planning and going to the gym, turned into a pleasurable routine.

As I considered this, I was struck by a similar shift in my feelings toward writing over the last few years.   

Once Upon A Time…

A few years ago I labored at writing in a sporadic fashion.  Writing was a chore I often had to force myself to do. 

I had ideas I liked, ideas I turned into putrid prose.   In short, I sucked.  I knew I sucked, but had no idea how to identify or correct my many problems. 

Then I got serious and began exercising my writing muscles more regularly.  I sought help from other writers who  made me see not only how truly bad my writing was, but also how to make it better.

And somewhere along the way, writing stopped being a chore.  Writing stopped being something I did instead of having fun.  My skills improved, and as they did so did my sense of accomplishment.

To those who want to write, but find it a chore

Writing gets easier…if you work at it steadily. 

It is discouraging to labor for hours with the result being dreck best discarded.   But skills improve.  Mistakes are corrected, and become easier to avoid.  The rewrites you once dreaded, you  begin to relish.   The edits become cleaner and less work is needed each time through. 

The quality of first drafts goes up, and the number of edits required before something is acceptable begins to drop.   In time writing becomes fun. 

And that is when you really begin to tell your story in a way you like, in the way it deserves to be told. 

When Last We Met…

On Sunday, July 25, 2010, the Magic City Writers met and reviewed the beginning of Lindy’s novel, The Night Things.    

The meeting was small; just Kathryn, Lindy, and Myself.  Nicole was unable to attend, as was our hoped for new member Emily.   

Before describing what happened, let’s talk about  the food.

Let’s Torture Alex by Mentioning What We Ate

As snacks we served three types of cookies: peanut butter, chocolate chip, and oatmeal raisin.   In a word, yum.

For dinner Kathryn made a very good Cobb Salad, using the official recipe from the The Hollywood Brown Derby, home of the original Cobb Salad.  She even hand made the salad dressing that is supposed to be used on it.  It required a bit of tweaking (chicory was impossible to find, and blue cheese was substituted for Roquefort ) but the result was delicious.  Great job, Kathryn.

Just for the records, the salad consists of water crest and romaine lettuce, tomato, bacon, chicken, hard boiled eggs, avocado, blue cheese, chopped chives, and tuna.  

The dressing’s ingredients do not live up to their combined taste, so I shall not bother listing them.

Later we were suppose to have either watermelon or ice cream for desert.  I regret to say that we were so sated from dinner we forgot to have desert.

Oh woe is me.   Now we shall have to eat these items later in the week. 

An Now What We Did

Lindy knew that her submission was a rough, first draft.  She asked we only give her general comments.   i.e. Focus on structure and plot problems, not so much on details or grammar.

I think my idea of general comments was a lot closer to her concept of line-by-line edits.   For that, I apologize to her.

The consensus was that The Night Things contains many strong elements, and that Lindy needs to flesh out or rewrite certain portions.   Some parts were quite good, and other parts needed more work. 

After reducing Lindy to a shadow of her former self, we did writing exercises based on an idea of Kathryn’s.  Her idea was to practice our ability to describe items based only on how they feel. 

One at at time, we each put odd shaped objects into a box and closed the lid so the others could not see what it was.  We each reach into the box and felt the items, never looking at them.  Afterwards we wrote a few sentences describing what we felt.   

This was a great idea.  It required flexing unusual writing muscles and focusing on subtle details.  This was a very useful exercise for me, and I think for the others as well.  Another great job, Kathryn.

The Remains of The Day

After dinner, we retired upstairs and watched a Mystery Science Theater 3000 riff on a movie called Jack Frost.  This movie hammered and glued a number of Russian folklore stories together into one of the dumbest movies in history.  Basically it was a deranged mixture of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Sleeping Beauty with liberal doses of the Baba Yaga myths.   Needless to say, at times we laughed till we cried.

Afterwards I retired to write this post, while the others went their separate ways..

Coming Attractions

We set the date for the next meeting to be Wednesday August 11 at 6:00 pm.  This time, we shall eat dinner first, then rip to shreds my fifth chapter, Through Persuasion and Force,….   

I am especially looking forward this, because I just finished a complete (and much needed) rewrite of this chapter.  At the moment I am feeling quite proud of myself and need to be taken down a notch.   I feel certain the others shall oblige me.

Until my next post, take care and have fun.

A New Posting on the Website For My Story

I have posted a new copy of Chapter one, The Wizard’s Spells…, on the website dedicated to my story, Gods Among Men.  

There is also a new blog post on the book’s website entitled (appropriately) Another New Version Of Chapter One. 

The  blog post talks about the reasons for the latest edit of chapter one and the vital contribution from Alex, a founding member of the Magic City Writers’ Group.  (AKA, the person I keep torturing by talking about the meals we server at our much-too-infrequent meetings.) 

I will not repeat myself here, except to express my deep gratitude for the invaluable help she is giving me with editing my story.  Thank you Alex, your efforts are much appreciated.

Show And Tell

I have been quiet of late, which is not to say I haven’t been working.  For several months I found it quite difficult to focus on writing.  My time and my thoughts were co-opted by pressures from work, preparations for my and Kathryn’s wedding, developing an exercise regime so that my back problems from last year do not recur, and so forth. 

This is not to say I did nothing with regards to working on my story.   The process of writing and editing requires both physical and mental effort. 

Physically I had too much to do and too little free time to do it in.  Mentally, I have been thinking and internalizing realizations I had months ago.  Preparing for the time when the wave of demands on my time would recede and my labors could resume.

In recent weeks I returned to writing, and established a schedule I hope is self-sustaining.  

Recently I tested an insight I had into the writer’s adage, “show, don’t tell”.  I am pleased with the results.  Before explaining my insight, and the results, let me establish the fundamentals of both “show” and “tell”.

The Ease of “Telling” a Story

It is (relatively) easy to “tell” a story, to lay out in simple words what you want the reader to think or feel.   The problem is that the readers don’t actually feel those emotions, they just know they should.  Using “tells” gives your writing the emotional content of a computer algorithm.

When you write the words “John felt angry” or “Jane smiled in happiness”, the words “felt angry” and “in happiness” are “tells”.  

Almost anytime you use a word that directly represents an emotion or motivation the sentence or phrase is a “tell”.  It is at those times that you are explicitly telling the reader the emotions and motivations of characters.   By extension, you are telling the reader how they should react to those emotional states.

You aren’t engaging the imagination, you are dictating a reaction. 

You aren’t describing actions, you are informing the reader how they should interpret the scene. 

For that matter, you haven’t created a scene, just established a character’s current state.   It is a point with no direction or momentum.

The Difficulty of “Showing” a Story

To “show” a story requires  painting with words.  To create an image that clearly conveys context and emotion without stating either directly.

Instead of “John felt angry”, consider “John’s face turned red.  He clenched his fist and snorted like a bull.”

Instead of “Jane smiled in happiness”, consider “Jane tapped her feet in time with the pop song playing on the radio.  She looked out the window, saw red roses reaching for the sun, and smiled.”

Neither sentence above is great, but they do illustrate the key points about “showing” a story. 

It takes more words, more sentences, to “show” a scene rather than”tell” it.  

“Showing” requires a focus on actions, on details, to create an scene the reader can imagine.  From the imagination comes understanding of the character, and perhaps empathy.  From understanding and empathy comes engrossment, the desire to keep reading.

My Insight

“Showing” a story or scene  is always more powerful, more engrossing, than “telling”.  “Showing” a story is the preferred approach, hence the adage of “show, don’t tell”. 

But “showing” requires much more work and many more words.   It takes more time to write, to find the right way to describe a scene.  In some cases, it is difficult to find the right words to “show” something that you can “tell” in a few words.  

“Showing” can slow a scene down, make it drag when you want it to move faster.  Plus, when you “show” everything important details can become lost in a sea of words and images.

Ergo there must be a balance between the two.   A time to show, and a time to tell.  A time to dwell on details, and a time use a “tell” as a shortcut between more important moments.  Instead of “show, don’t tell”  the correct approach is “show and tell, each in their proper proportion and where they are most effective”.

What this Approach Led Me to Discover

With practice I have become more comfortable with “showing” and less reliant on “telling”.   I combined this with my earlier revelation about how I should sharpen the focus of my story. 

The result was much better characterizations, and a stronger pacing. 

I now write transitions between scenes as brief “tells”.  Summaries that cover only the essential facts needed.    A successful “tell” is one that is short, infrequent, and serves to either start a scene or transition to a new scene. 

“Tells”should underscore something that is being shown, or remind the reader of important information they were shown before.  “Tells” that fail these tests I  either delete or try to convert to “shows”.

Scenes of importance became “shows”.  Descriptions of actions and expressions that force me to reveal the characters  in ways that make them more real.  If it is worth spending more than a few words on a moment then it should be a “show”.  A visual play in which actions flow from the character’s nature combined with their situation.

I don’t claim that there are hard and fast rules for when to use a “show” versus a “tell” or that I have found a perfect mix between them.  But the insight I had  has demonstrably improved my fiction writing.   It takes longer to write each scene, and the words do not come as fast.  Nevertheless, I recommend experimenting with this approach yourself.    I think you will be pleased with the results.